Arr, me swabbie buccanneers!

 Ch. 3: An Ordinary Pirate

Previously, on Halubarudo-chan’s Magical Adventures:

Mahou Kagakusha Pabloc-san, Lily-chan’s mentor and one true love, was poisoned by the devious scheme of the nefarious Tiari-hime! However, from the unexpected waves of the seven seas, a new ally emerged to help them overcome this desperate state of affairs! Soketsu-san, the famed Plot-convenience Pirate arrived just in the nick of time, and managed to repel the eeeeevil Tiari-hime in a battle of epic proportions! However, the wicked cat-princess managed to escape the school-building, leaving our heroes no other choice but to give chase!

---

Gabe: "I can’t believe this… Another battle off-screen!? Really!?"

Soketsu: "…"

Tiari: "*sigh* It’s starting. Again."

Adhi: "Hi guys!"

Kiseki: "*giggle* Hi~!"

Steve: "Oh man! I, like, totally missed you guys! I haven’t seen you in, like, ages!"

Kiseki: "We missed you too, Stevie!"

Adhi: "Right, we missed you soooo, much!"

Soketsu: "……"

Tiari: "I never knew you guys were on friendly terms."

Kiseki: "*giggle* But we are! We have been hanging out all the time, like Stevie?"

Steve: "Totally!"

Adhi: "It’s a pity there weren’t any non-canon parts lately. It’s hard to keep in touch."

Kiseki: "Yes, a pity."

Adhi: "Right?"

Kiseki: "Yes."

Soketsu: "………"

Kay: "Um… Soketsu?"

Soketsu: "Huh? Yes?"

Kay: "Are you all right?"

Soketsu: "Yeah, I’m fine. I’m already getting used to this kind craziness; I just need to prepare myself a little."

Gabe: "Glad to see that you are okay. Can I leave things to you?"

Soketsu: "What? Leave things to me? Where are you going?"

Gabe: "I’ll just check up on Jill. She walked out with Pabloc a while ago to calm him down and they haven’t come back yet. I should be back in a jiffy."

Soketsu: "Okay, I guess. Take care."

Kay: "… He’s surprisingly thoughtful today."

Soketsu: "Yeah…"

Lily: "Pssst! It’s starting~!"

---

Soketsu-san: “Arrr! Cunnin' wee wench, that catgirl! She jumped out th' window, thar be no way we can follow aft her!"

Lily-chan: "Pabloc-san!!!"

While the plot-convenience pirate took out a telescope from somewhere and began observing the courtyard outside the window, Lily-chan hastily grabbed onto her beloved mentor’s shoulders and helped him onto his feet.

Pabloc-san: "Do not worry thy heart my fair pupil. *cough-cough* I shall persevere."

Hearing his words, Soketsu-san quickly collapsed his telescope and raised his eye onto the Mahou Kagakusha with a worried expression.

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Shiver me timbers, me scallywag! That wench gave ye th' incurable cough o' death!"

Lily-chan: "Incurable cough of death! Yadaaaaaaa!!!"

---

Lily: "Yadaaaaaa!!!"

Tiari: "*sigh* I thought we were over this already…"

Lily: "But he said it’s incurable! I don’t want Pabloc-san to die!"

Tiari: "... Now you are just repeating yourself."

Soketsu: "Calm down everyone, it’s going to be all right."

Kay: "Right. Didn’t Tiari say that she had an antidote last time?"

Steve: "But… Man, then why is it called the incurable cough of death?! This is totally not radical!"

Adhi: "Yeah! Be consistent!"

Soketsu: "… You guys are not helping."

---

After the realization, Lily-chan and Soketsu-san quickly tuck the Mahou Kagakusha into the nurse’s office’s bed and began their tactical meeting.

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Listen, Lily-chan! If we wants t' save 'im, we 'ave t' catch that catwench!"

Lily-chan: "Hai! But Soketsu-san, why are you helping us?"

For a split second, the man curiously raised his eyebrows, or at least the one that was visible, with the other being covered behind that eyepatch and all, but then he suddenly grabbed hold of one of his tricorne’s corners and flashed his alabaster white teeth at the girl with a glorious smile.

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Wha' kind o' riddle be that!? 'cause I’m th' Plot-Convenience Pirate Soketsu-san, th' ally o' justice 'n all cakes o' this world! That's th' reason!"

---

Tiari: "Ah, the narm is rising again."

Kay: "Soketsu…?"

Soketsu: "Don’t worry; I can deal with this much…"

Kay: "Then… why are you trembling?"

Soketsu: "… Look at your left."

Kiseki: "*giggle* Ah, Soketsu looks so cool!"

Adhi: "Hey!"

Kiseki: "Oh, you know I meant the clothes! I’m sure you would look even better in them!"

Adhi: "You think so?"

Steve: "Yeah, man. Like, you would be totally dashing."

Adhi: "Thanks Steve, hearing it from you means a lot."

Kiseki: "*pout*"

Adhi: "Ah, but hearing it from you means even more, darling!"

Kiseki: "Really?"

Adhi: "Really!"

Kiseki & Adhi: "Hahahaha!"

Soketsu: "… Any more questions?"

Kay: "…"

---

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Now listen up wee lass! Th' incurable cough o' death can scuttle anyone, even though it ne'er does. However, we still needs t' find th' cure, jus' in case, so we needs t' go aft her!"

Lily-chan: "But how? We don’t even know where she is!"

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! But we do! Afore they became th' Space-Cat Empire, her lackeys were known as th' Space-Cat Pirates! I would bet me beard that she be wit' them right now, sailin' th' seven seas!"

Lily-chan: "But Soketsu-san, you don’t have a beard…"

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Right ye be! That’s why I ne'er lose me bets!"

Lily-chan: "Kakkoi~!"

---

Tiari: "You make no sense whatsoever."

Soketsu: "Are you really trying to pick a fight, miss “I will destroy your cakes ~meow!”?"

Tiari: "… Point taken."

---

Soketsu-san: "Come, Lily-chan! I jus' parked me ship nearby, if we make haste we best be able t' catch up wit' ‘em!"

Lily-chan: "Hai, Taisho-sama!"

As such, Lily-chan quickly transformed into her Mahou Shoujo form…

*insert transformation sequence here*

… and the two of them quickly rushed out of the nurse’s office, heading to the ordinary docks by the ordinary school. There stood a huge ship, or rather floated, but that’s beside the point. With Harubarudo-chan in utter amazement, the plot-convenience pirate began to introduce his loyal crew.

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! This here be me first mate, Adhi."

Lily-chan: "Konbanwa!"

The young man, dressed formally and having the air of a professional butler around him, looked over the two and slowly shook his head.

Adhi-san: "Captain, as I have already voiced it several times in the past, I would ask you to correct your speech-impediment lest you embarrass us in front of our guests again."

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! He be a cheeky bastard, but no scallywag does a better job keepin' up th' morale than 'im!"

Adhi-san: "Although I would very much like to take that as a compliment, taken the fact that we have a grand total of three crew members, including my humble self, it’s hardly a feat."

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Cheeky son of a biscuit eater, didn’t I tell ye!"

---

Kiseki: "*squee!* Adhiiii! You are so cool!!!"

Adhi: "*blush* Hehehe…"

Kiseki: "I wonder what I’m like!"

Adhi: "I’m sure you are going to be super-cute!"

Kiseki: "Really?"

Adhi: "*nod-nod* Really!"

Kiseki & Adhi: "Hahahaha!"

Tiari: "… Say, Lily?"

Lily: "Nyu?"

Tiari: "Could you… Accidentally eat them again?"

Lily: "… Nyuuuu?"

Kay: "Tiari! That wasn’t very nice!"

Tiari: "Hey, I was just asking!"

---

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! An' this here be our artillery chief, Kiseki-chan."

Kiseki-chan: "… *nod*"

The young woman clad frilly yet body-fitting clothes coolly looked over at the two for a moment, and then returned to his work at polishing the cannons.

Lily-chan: "Konbanwa! I’m Li- I mean, Harubarudo-chan~!"

Kiseki-chan looked up from her work one more time…

Kiseki-chan: "… *nod*"

… but after nodding she returned to her work just as fast as the first time.

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! She doesn’t talk much, that wench!"

Adhi-san: "Captain, I have told you at least a hundred times; “wench” is not a world you use to address a proper lady."

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! We be havin' already established that ye be th' cheeky one, avast beatin' th' dead horse!"

Adhi-san: "… *sigh* Yes sir."

---

Adhi: "Wow! You are a COODERE! I love those!"

Kiseki: "… *pout*"

Adhi: "Ah, but not as much as you I love you!"

Kiseki: "Really?"

Adhi: "Really! I love you any way!"

Kiseki: "Really really?"

Adhi: "Really really!"

Kiseki & Adhi: "Hahahaha!"

Tiari: "STOP DOING THAT!"

Lily: "Pssst! Don’t shout, I can’t hear the story!"

Kiseki & Adhi: "…"

---

Lily-chan: "But Soketsu-san... How come you have such a huge ship and so little crew?"

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! I’m glad ye asked!"

All of a sudden the plot-convenience pirate lightly tapped the deck with his feet and point at the ship.

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! On accoun' o' this here be a magical ship!"

Lily-chan: "Really!?"

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Aye, it can e'en talk, listen!"

Steve-kun: "V’z abg n zntvpny fuvc, lbh vqvbgf!"

Lily-chan: "I can’t understand what he says…"

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! On accoun' o' he be from th' future! Swabbies speak moon-language in th' future!"

Steve-kun: " Ab V’z abg; whfg svk zl tbqqnza ibpnohyngbe nyernql lbh zbebaf!!!"

---

                                    

Steve: "I’m the ship! That’s, like, totally radical! I always wanted to be a ship!"

Adhi: "Good for you, Stevie!"

Kiseki: "Yes, congratulations!"

Tiari: "Too bad we can’t understand what you say."

Steve: "That’s, like, totally cool too! It makes me, like, totally mystical and stuff!"

Soketsu: "Mysterious."

Steve: "Yeah, that too!"

Kiseki: "*giggle* You know what would be awesome? I think Steve is going to be a transformer!"

Adhi: "Yeah! And he will transform into a spaceship!

Steve: "That would be, like, totally sweet, man! The only thing that I wanted more than becoming a ship was, like, becoming a spaceship and stuff!"

Adhi: "Ah, I bet you will also turn into a car!"

Kiseki: "And a camel with laser-eyes!"

Adhi: "Ah, thanks dear, I almost forgot the camel with the laser eyes!"

Kiseki: "*giggle* You are welcome."

Soketsu & Kay & Tiari: "…"

---

With the introductions hastily finished, our heroic group of heroes set sail to the seven seas to find the cure for their beloved companion’s incurable disease!

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Man th' sails, lass th' rudder! Dangerous adventures, deadly storms an' scurvy be waitin' fer us, but we will find that cat-wench nay matter what 't takes!"

Steve-kun: "Lbh xabj V’z npghnyyl n fcnprfuvc, evtug? V pbhyq whfg genafsbez, syl vagb beovg naq hfr zl frafbef gb svaq guvf pngtvey bs lbhef."

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Aye, I know ye be excited as well, ye can avast yer screechin'!"

Steve-kun: "…"

On their adventurous journey they fought krakens, shot at sires with weaponized horse-wieners from cannons, played tic-tac-toe with extreme prejudice and even battled the menace of scurvy with its heroic arch-nemesis, sauerkraut… However, those are tales for another time. Believing in their just cause helped them overcome these terrible ordeals, and before they even knew it, they found themselves face to face with their nemesis.

Tiari-hime: "Nyahahahaha! I see you have followed me here ~meow, but this is the end of your pathetic journey ~meow!"

Just as they entered international waters, they soon discovered Tiari-hime’s ship and rushed them without a second thought. Riding on her majestic dreadnought, the Golden Whiskas, the eeeeevil catgirl boldly stood up to the plot-convenience pirate and his fearless crew!

Lily-chan: "Tiari-hime! Give us the antidote, or Pabloc-san will die!"

Tiari-hime: "Nyahaha! That’s the point, isn’t it ~meow!"

Lily-chan: "*whimper* Tiary-hime! You are mean!"

For a moment, the eeeeevil cat-princess almost seemed like he was hesitating, but then she quickly shook her head.

Tiari-hime: "No! Your mind-games have no effect on me, Harubarudo-chan! Fire!"

Pirate-Automatons: "Arrr yeah!"

*BOOM*

The first salvo of the Golden Whiskas’ cannons just barely missed Steve’s port, but just the waves they created were enough to rock the ship.

Lily-chan: "Kyaaaa!"

Adhi-san: "Captain, it appears that the negotiations have broken down. What are your orders?"

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Shi'er me timbers! They be havin' superior firepower!"

Steve-kun: "V unir jnir-zbgvba pnaabaf, lbh xabj?"

Adhi-san: "It appears to be. We most likely won’t survive another salvo."

Steve-kun: "Sebz gubfr cvrprf bs yrnq?! Crbcyr, V jnf qrfvtarq gb jvgufgnaq ahxrf!"

Kiseki-chan: "… Fire?"

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Nay, we stand nay chance in ship t' ship combat… We be havin' t' board them!"

Steve-kun: " Yvfgra, V’z whfg gryyvat lbh gung V pna qrfgebl guvf jbbqra obng va yvxr-!"

Soketsu-san: " Arrr! Aye Steve, we know ye be worried about gettin' trashed, but we can do this!"

Steve-kun: "… V. Ungr. Lbh. Nyy."

---

Soketsu: "… I’m an idiot in this story."

Tiari: "Welcome to the club."

Soketsu: "Also, just what is Steve saying?"

Kay: "It looks like gibberish to me…"

Soketsu: "…"

Steve: "Oh man, I’m sure I will, like, totally turn into a mech any moment now! It would be totally radicalicious!"

Tiari: "That’s not even a word."

Soketsu: "Thanks, it’s good to have someone to help pointing out these things."

Tiari: "You are welcome."

---

After battling through the endless horde of Tiari-hime’s eeeeevil pirate automatons, Harubarudo-chan and Soketsu-san came face-to face with the eeeeevil catgirl-princess in a glorious standoff on the bridge of the dreadnought.

Soketsu-san: " Arrr! Give up cat-wench! Ye be outnumbered two t' one!"

Lily-chan: "Give us the antidote so that we can save Pabloc-san!"

Tiari-hime: "*grrrr* You might have defeated my automatons ~meow, but you will never defeat me!"

Saying so, the catgirl suddenly produced an enormous tricorne from behind her back and put in on her head.

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Oh no!"

Lily-chan: "Nyu?"

Soketsu-san: " Arrr! Look ou' Harubarudo-chan! A buccaneer’s power be equal t' th' size o' the'r hat! Wi' such hat on th' lass' head, she has ULTIMATE PIRATE POWERS!"

Lily-chan: "Oh no!"

With ULTIMATE PIRATE POWER bustling around him, Tiari-hime cockily put her arms akimbo while laughing.

Tiari-hime: "Nyahahahah!!! Have you finally realized your folly, puny humans ~meow? Bow before my ULTIMATE PIRATE POWER, and I might spare you ~meow!"

Lily-chan: "Soketsu-san! What can we do against such an overwhelming ULTIMATE PIRATE POWER?!"

The plot convenience pirate fell silent for a moment, clearly torn between his duty and his feelings, but in the end he defiantly raised his eye upon Tiari-hime!

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Thar be only one thin' we can do…"

Steve-kun: " Svanyyl ghea zr onpx vagb n shpxvat fgnefuvc naq oynfg ure vagb qhfg sebz beovg jvgu zl raretl jrncbaf?"

Soketsu-san: "Arrr! Quiet Steve! I need t’ concentrate here!"

Steve-kun: "… Shpx lbh. SHPX LBH JVGU NYY ZL UNGR!!!"

Soketsu-san: "…"

The plot-convenience pirate, even though he couldn’t understand his words, could feel the unwavering support in his ship’s voice, finally giving him the final push he needed to overcome his hesitation. He took a bold step forward and pointed at the catgirl brimming with ULTIMATE PIRATE POWER with his saber, then… simply let go of the handle and let it fall to the ground.

Tiari-hime: "Nyahaha! Are you really giving up ~meow? Wise choice ~meow!"

Soketsu-san: "No. I just won’t need that anymore."

Taking one more step forward, Soketsu-san looked over his shoulders and spoke to the confused Harubarudo-chan behind his back.

Soketsu-san: "I have no other choice but to unleash the beast inside of me. Stay back!"

Just as he said that, he slowly reached towards his head with a solemn expression.

Soketsu-san: "Get ready, cat! I am going to show you the only power in this world capable of overcoming your ULTIMATE PIRATE POWER!"

Tiari-hime: "Ridiculous ~meow!"

However, before she could see any more, Soketsu-san’s hand finally reached its destination, grabbing onto his tricorne and tearing it off his head!

Tiari-hime: "Nya?!"

The eeeeevil catgirl-princess’ eyes opened wide in shock as the realization slowly set in. She cursed her carelessness for not noticing it sooner, even though all the signs were already there, right in front of her. The black clothes, the face-mask, the lack of peg-legs or a hook for a hand… it suddenly all made sense, and it filled her with fear to the tip of her tail.

Tiari-hime: "No way ~meow! You have…!"

With a terrifying aura emanating from his body, Soketsu-san once again raised his hand and pointed at the catgirl, but this time instead of a saber, there was a long, thin blade in his hand.

Soketsu-san: "That’s right! I hold the blood of the bane of pirates, the only being in this world that can defeat the ULTIMATE PIRATE POWER! I have…!"

Tiari-hime & Soketsu-san: "THE ULTIMATE NINJA POWER!!!"

---

Lily: "Wohooo! Go Soketsu-san, go!"

Steve: "Wow man! That’s, like, totally intense!"

Lily: "Right?"

Steve: "Right!"

Lily & Steve: "Hahahaha!"

Tiari: "Oh my god! Soketsu, they got infected! Do something!"

Kay: "…"

Tiari: "… Where is Soketsu?"

Kay: "Over there, he is hitting his head against the wall."

Tiari: "… Ouch. Aren’t you worried about him?"

Kay: "Not really, he has a really hard head."

Tiari: "That… wasn’t really my point…"

---

Thus began the epic battle of epic proportions! There were swords hitting each other with the force of a thousand exploding suns, parrots intercepting ninja-stars midair, nun chucks and peg legs, hooks and poison darts, ninjutsu and illegal downloads! It was the battle of the century, and even though at first they appeared to be evenly matched, Soketsu-san still managed to overcome his opponent, courtesy of the simple fact that ninjas are always better than pirates. Except in manga, but that’s another matter entirely.

Tiari-hime: "Nyaaaaaa!"

With one last strike, Soketsu-san suddenly swung his sword, cleanly cleaving Tiari-hime’s tricorne in half. After realizing that she lost the ULTIMATE PIRATE POWER, she immediately turned tail and jumped into a conveniently placed escape-pod and shot off into space.

Tiari-hime: "This is not the last time you have heard of me ~meow! Next time, I will destroy you all ~meow!"

Lily-chan: "Oh no! She ran away!"

Steve-kun: "Lbh xabj, V unir nagv-nve zvffvyrf… Whfg fnlva’."

Kiseki-chan: "… Cannons are no good. Out of range "

Steve-kun: "V fnvq, V unir nagv-nve z-… *fvtu* Shpx, jul qb V rira pner…?"

Adhi-san: "It appears to we have no way to follow after her. Truly infuriating."

Steve-kun: "… Ab, shpx lbh thlf, V jba’g rira ZRAGVBA gung V’z n fcnprfuvc nalzber. Shpx. lbh. uneq."

As her escape-pod finally disappeared in the sky with a twinkle, Lily-chan suddenly cried out in joy as he picked up a tin can from the deck!

Lily-chan: "Ah, Soketsu-san! I have found the antidote~!!!"

Soketsu-san: "Great work! Let’s get it back to your mentor!"

Lily-chan: "Hai!"

---

Adhi: "Are we getting to the end?"

Kiseki: "Aw, we barely had any lines!"

Soketsu: "…"

Tiari: "Hey, are you sure he is all right?"

Kay: "I think. He is not hitting his head anymore…"

---

Will our heroes get back to Pabloc-san before it’s too late?! What are the plans of the eeeeevil Tiari-hime?! How come cakes were barely mentioned in this chapter?! If you want to know, tune in next time, on Halubarudo-chan’s Magical Adventures!!!

Steve-kun: " Fbzrbar fnir zr! Nalbar! V pna'g gnxr guvf nalzber! NNNNNETU!!!"